Its 11th March !! Wait a sec…This date means something to me..but what?...Ah got it..Its my Birthdate!!
So as it happens every year, this year too on 11th March ,I was poured with n number of birthday wishes.
‘Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional’…
‘Some words of wisdom for your birthday, "Smile while you still have teeth!’…
But this post is not about the wishes I got on my natal day. Its about frantic birthday celebrations that occur in a place called KP. Its about yobs who proudly call themselves KPians. Its about a BUM Blast in KP. Unfortunately for me, this time around, the BUM we are talking about here was mine!!
The eve of my birthday started with KPians throwing some teasers of the events to follow. I was told to get ready for some hairdrier treatment. And I would know what that meant later that night. They did all the possible things to dent my psyche. Some people did warm up exercises before me while others told me ways to minimize the suffering. There were not gonna be any surprises this time around.. The plans were set and I was the target…in fact it was my BUM. I was fully made aware of this blueprint but the irony of the situation was such that there was nothing I could do!..’You a’int gonna escape from the clutches of these fierce animals this time around’ my inner self told me. I was about to get a taste of my own medicine!!!!
The moments leading to the ‘THE MOMENT’ were filled with me thinking how I would face these brutes getting their 2 ½ kg limbs on my sweet little BUM. Perhaps looking at my feeble body, they will surely show me some mercy - I tried to hope against the hope. As the moment drew closer my heart started beating rigorously. And finally when THE MOMENT, for which I was not so eagerly waiting for, came as the clock hit 12! I had seen KICKASS MORNINGS on TV once, but it was time to experience KICKASS NIGHT!!!!
I was escorted from balcony to hall by a bouncer with a mischievous smile. When I reached the hall I found things pretty unusual. The black forest cake which was brought on the occasion was being given least coverage! This was not all.. the guys were flexing their muscles and taking snaps of their .. well husky legs! Yes it may sound like gayish behavior right now, but that was not to be.! ‘Vaish its gonna be nasty down here’ I told myself. I had to remind the dudes that there was something called ‘Cake’ waiting for me to make incisions into it. As soon as I cut the forest in no time I was drowned in it. It was all over me. In KP the birthday cake is not meant for eating, I recollected while I was being readied for the KP ritual. At the same time my face was being continuously bombarded with snow foam. The cake and foam mixture made its way to places which I didn’t even know existed.
And then came the time which I and my BUM will not be able to forget in years to come. I had no option but to surrender myself to the encircling hooligans. I was lifted in the air and with no mercy whatsoever my BUM was subjected to utmost agony. It was as if my BUM was a magnet and the 20 odd legs were made of iron! The maiming continued for a few minutes but it was eternity for me! When one player got tired, some other dude took his place. I was given no rest though! I was not even given time to feel the pain..no sooner did one leg made its impression on my BUM other was waiting its turn. To speak in software terms my BUM was a open source..free for all!!! Finally it was over. I was given some breathing space after all.
The geyser was on and warm water was awaiting me n my bruised BUM. While the warm water was nursing my wounds, up came the question in my mind ‘Is this the best birthday celebration I ve had?’ and up came the answer through my heart..Yaaass! And instantly I realized one thing. The impressions made on my BUM were very faint as compared to the ones made by KPians on my heart!!
To round it off just 1 more suggestion from my side..If in case at any point in life you wanna experience what a fantASStic birthday celebration is..just stop by KP on the eve of your birthday and the KPians will take care of the rest!!!
