The Curious Case Of Rat Race..!

Pic Credit : Anant Kamat Bambolkar

‘I work in IT’. That’s my answer to anyone who tries to probe me about my profession.  The interrogation does not end there. As soon as the previous answer finishes, comes in the next question, for which I always come prepared for but never able to answer. ‘What do you do there?’ ..then comes a moment of silence…and a few more moments of silence. Never have I seen anyone ask an electrician this question or for that matter a carpenter or a doctor or an accountant. ‘Why only us?’ that is the question I want to ask to you in return.

Frankly speaking, there is rather a complicated answer to this simple question. It’s not like ‘I do electrical wiring of the buildings’ or ‘I cure people’.  Let me try and give you an insight into this enigma called the IT WORLD.

My day usually starts at the crack of dawn at around 9:30 in the morning. This might even extend a bit to 10:30 depending upon various important factors like weather conditions, engaging chat with a school friend on Facebook last night etc. etc. The next 2 hours is usually the busiest phase of my day.  I have to cramp in few vital activities like brushing, taking a wash or a full bath (if time permits), check if Mukesh Ambani has discovered an oil reserve somewhere in Arabian sea and its stocks have suddenly rocketed 100% so that I can book profits by selling a couple of my shares and of course getting ready for the office.

Travelling to office often represents a different sort of challenge and is no less than a war to me. Consider this scenario. 100 rats are simultaneously released from a trap but they have to pass a small hole to actually get free. Chaotic right? Now let us increase the number of rats to 1000. Haphazard isn’t it? And what if this number increases to 10000 and size of hole remains the same? My situation is somewhat similar to this except that I have a few potholes and traffic signals to negotiate. It’s a triumphant feeling that I get when I reach office and am really proud to say that I get this feeling 10 times each week!

The busiest part of my day gives way to the toughest hour in which I decide what I need to do in the next 7 hours. It is 11 o’clock and I start my day at office by “logging in my machine” and checking mails to see what my “deliverables” for today are. I see that I have a deliverable to be given to my “onsite folks” by “EOD” (End of Day). Onsite folks are no one but people like you and I, having their heart and brain at the same place as us. The only difference between them and me is the time difference. I prefer to spend a next few minutes to surf  the net just to check if the oil well has been found yet and if there are any critical updates on my Facebook page. It is already 11:30 and I need to have my breakfast now (yes you have heard it right). My nutritious breakfast consists of delicacies like vada pav, misal pav along with a cup of tea at the road side “Tapri” (Tea stall). We often discuss how this small time chaiwala earns a lot more than us and how unlike us, tackling the burden of inflation is in his own hands.

It is already close to noon and I better pull my socks up and begin to prepare the document which needs to be “ready for a review” by evening. Before that let me make my status as “Busy” on my office chat messenger so that people are aware that I am fully tied up. Now that I have opened the chat messenger, let me “ping” a few of my friends to see what they up to and tell them that I will be busy for most part of the day working on a “critical issue”  and not to disturb me today. A few crucial things like when the “appraisal” ratings going to be out and what is the expected hike are also discussed with my friends.

I see a few people leaving from their seats with their lunch boxes and realize that it is already lunch time. Lunch is usually one activity that I make sure I am punctual about. I accompany my “project team” for lunch which forms the most constructive part of my day. Serious discussions generally involve topics like how it is high time for Sachin to consider retirement and give way to youngsters, how Chidambaram should present his upcoming budget to improve our economy and why Singham should get this year’s awards for best cinematography and best editor.

I make sure I reach my “desk” sharp by 2 O’clock and immediately begin with my work. The siesta seeker inside me tries hard to get me to sleep for a few minutes but am very much determined today to fend off the temptation. I open up a blank word document, but then I realize I haven’t done anything since morning to catch my manager’s attention. This time I choose to use rule no. 420 from the book ‘1000 ways to make sure your Boss knows you are working’ by sending a couple of mails indicating how I am facing some “network issues”  today keeping my manager in “CC”. The manager in turn obliges with rule no. 420 by replying to the mail keep in his own manager in copy!

It is already 2:30 but I feel that I need to get rid of some of the distractions that were occupying my mind since morning. I pay off this month rent, my phone bill, some of the money I had brought from my colleague last month when I was “Broke”. Now I feel much lighter and kicked up to start with my work. Its 3 PM and stock markets are about to close. I need to see how my stocks fared today and how much rupee has weakened against the dollar so that I can calculate how much I lose each day I spend here rather than at “Onsite”. I put “visa initiation” as one of the things to be done this month in “to do” list of my new smartphone.

It is 3:30 and the sleep demon is again trying to have a word with me to see if I surrender. The only way I see to overcome this demon is to sip in a cup of hot tea and be as fresh as I was in the morning. I call up one of my teammate who himself is busy doing some “critical stuff” and we head for a break. We discuss the rules we put in use today from the above discussed book. We call it “knowledge transfer (KT)” or “knowledge sharing (KS)”

By the time we come back, we see our remaining teammates running for a “weekly status meeting” in the “conference room”. Status meeting is a time when all the teammates get 10 min to give updates on their work and raise any grievances and rest 50 min are spent by our manager telling us how we need to motivate ourselves even more and work even harder to “satisfy our clients”(it may sound odd but that is what exactly it is). Katrina Kaif and Kristen Stewart are the couple of people that dominate my thinking during these meetings.

It is 5 O’clock and I calmly prepare myself for a big “escalation” for failing to deliver on time. After all, it was just last week that I had a heated discussion with my onsite counterpart to convince him that the estimate for this deliverable should be 7 days against 5 days which he was looking for. Today is the 7^th day and what I have is blank word document! I decide to fight till the very end knowing very well how royally I will be screwed if I falter today. Taking “screenshots” of the “application setups” and putting into the document takes a toll on my biceps but that is how our life is and there is no backing out now. I write a piece of “code” at a breakneck speed and complete the “unit testing” in a single breath. I then quickly put my observations in the document and decorate it with some animations and put the contents in a “company template” and am “good to go” now. I draft the mail attaching the document and sending it to the onsite folks. Done by 6 O’clock! The sense of achievement you get after a days of hard work is unparalleled.

I decide to wait till 6:30 for their feedback on my work during which I head off for evening snakes. This is what I get in my mailbox when I return,

Hi,

Trains are running late today. Will reach in 30 min. We will have a call after that.

Thanks,

ABC

In laymen language, this means I have to wait in office till 7:30 just to have a talk with this guy. He comes “online” at 7:35 and I waste no time to ping him asking him “we can talk”. He asks me to wait for some more time as he needs to check his mails. He calls me at 7:50 toll tell me that he has not gone through my document yet and is “fully tied up” for rest of the day. He promises me to go through it and suggest changes by tomorrow. Each word coming out of his mouth multiplies my frustration level manifold. How I wish I had a gun in my hand right now. He wishes me good night and ends the call. At 8.15 O’clock, its curtains on my workday (for good). It has been a hard work for me in office today and this is the way it always is. Of course I have to again be a rat and travel back home negotiating the dreaded traffic. I will reach home by 9 and probably order something to eat. After such a frustrating day I do not have patience to talk to my parents even though I know they would be waiting for my call. May be I will call them on weekends.

Good thing is that my friends will be waiting for me on Facebook and I also have a Farmville level to complete before I go to bed. I go to bed every night feeling that I am contributing in a big way to the world economy (at least that is what my employers want me to believe) and this rat race has become a part and parcel of my life.

POST SCRIPT: Considering how filthy my shirt gets when I reach home after a day’s work it is really amusing when I hear people saying that ours is a ‘White Collared’ job!!!!

Common Shame To The Wealthys Game..

'The Best Thing About Corruption As A System Of Governance Is That It Works So Well’ – Gregory David Roberts has rightly written in his book ‘Shantaram’ what today seems to be the well known thumb rule as far as Indian administration is concerned. In yet another striking but customary revelation, the Commonwealth Organizing Committee has been allegedly involved in host of foul activities that would not only fill up their own paunches but would go a long way in vitiating the repute of our Nation. The allegations regarding corruption involved in construction of stadia, distribution of tickets are sure to make India a laughing stock all around the world. And we Indians with our inherent quality of demeaning ourselves are leaving no stones unturned to make sure we are in the news for all the wrong reasons.

The news of how our country is impotent in organizing an event of such magnitude has been flashing all over some of our ‘credible’ news channels. Let’s face the fact first. Corruption does exist. I would like to stick my neck out and say that organizing any event at such a huge scale cannot remain absolutely corruption free. But the extent to which it has been magnified and glorified is only going to harm our image as country vying to host Olympics in near future. We always wonder how India, a country of 1 billion, is unable to produce a single athlete of Olympics stature. What we don’t take into account is how, for every single person trying to climb up the ladder, there are 10 people trying to plot his downfall!

I was casually browsing through a website which listed all the news pertaining to the games for the last 1 year. Unfortunately I couldn’t bump into any news that did actually show the games in a positive light. Again I have no idea what kind of signal are we trying to send to the outside world. Media’s obsession with negativity has attained a whole new level in the past decade. I guess in any other country these issues would have been brought to light but surely not at the expense of all the positive work carried out by the authorities. I still remember how we used to back our college in inter-collegiate competitions, brushing aside all the internal matters like teaching frailties, Internal grudges etc. Why should it be any different when it comes to our own country? How can we allow the magnificence and the richness of this country to be overshadowed by few thick-skinned bureaucrats who are nothing more than blood sucking parasites trying to acquire mileage at the cost of country's development?

Why can’t we highlight the impact the games will have in boosting the sporting spirit in India and encourage sports other than cricket? How many of us know that these Games are to be ‘solar powered’ and Reliance RIL Solar Group has implemented India’s first 1MW solar PV power plant to power a stadium? Why has there been no spotlight on the immense employment that these games have generated? How come no one is looking at amount of revenue the number of tourist flocking into the capital to watch the games will generate? Why is that we can’t take effort to exhibit sophisticated technology of international standards that is being used by the government along with private enterprise to renovate and repair new-grade separators, flyovers, bridges and roads? Why isn’t anyone looking at how these games will create an atmosphere for economic, social as well as political cooperation between the member nations?

Today, as we brace ourselves to host the third largest multi-sport event in the world, I am pretty clear that these games will surely be a success but how much they will contribute in restoring the dent created in India’s image is still hazy to me. The successful conduct of these games will go a long way in strengthening India's position as a 'Soft Power'. I sincerely hope that the concerned authorities will pull themselves to put together a scintillating show, and also that the media takes up a responsible role in portraying the games in a disciplined manner and finally, hoping that we can serve as the perfect hosts.

Post Script: In an “emotional appeal” with a visual of the Indian tricolor published in all leading newspapers on the weekend, industrialist Subrata Roy has flayed the “recent continuous and negative media coverage” that has left organizers and volunteers feeling “totally demoralized and dejected”. The media, Roy said, has overdone it, “causing very big damage in maligning the image of our country”.

The Soul Odyssey..

‘There is no way you are getting up at 6.30 in the morning, that too on a weekend’ one of my roommates threw a gauntlet at me. But this was not like any other lazy Saturday. The OSP (Oracle Solution Practice) team at Cognizant had taken up a noble initiative of adopting a deprived school somewhere on the outskirts of Pune. A school in Velle district, around 80kms from Pune city was to be our destination. At 7.45 A.M I boarded the Toyota and we were all set to roll. At that point, little did I realize that, what was supposed to be a brief sojourn we had embarked on for enlightening the ‘little souls’ would turn out to be an epic journey that would leave all of us in a soul searching mode of our own.

As soon as we left the hubbub of the city, we were greeted by blazing mountains which engulfed us on all the four sides. Barring tarred road everything else we could see was sheathed with a green blanket. The clouds too were vying for attention but somewhat subdued sun was giving it a tough competition. It was close to impossible to get our eyes off such a pleasing visual treat. I pitied the driver for he had to keep his eyeballs strictly on the road ahead. A brief halt for breakfast gave us a much needed break to admire the mother earth in its most pristine form. As the highways gave way to two lane roads which in turn were superseded by single lane village roads we had a kind of anxious feeling as we drew closer and closer to our destination. In no time we had left behind the 'New' India and I quietly braced myself to face the 'Real' India.

The sounds of chatter and rumble were enough for us to know that we were finally there. Dozens of puerile heads were patiently awaiting our arrival. We were then taken to the place where the children used to learn. 'School is a Temple Of Learning' has for long been one of the most sought after essay topics for the school teachers. But this topic would need, to speak strictly in software terms, a little bit of ‘customization’ if we were to present it to these children. It was because in here it was actually a temple where the school was being run..Right from 1st medium till the 8th!..Immediately my mind wandered to my school days when we used to grumble for not having with good quality benches. The fact that some of them had to walk 7 KMs one way to attend the school sent a chill down my spine and my legs suddenly felt numb.

A dainty little girl applied ‘tika’ to our foreheads as we entered the school premises. The welcome ceremony was comprised of presenting us with a bouquet of myriad flowers handpicked and handmade by the little kids themselves. The fragrance of our deodorants paled in comparison to scent that erupted from those tiny flowers. The little artists then staged couple of folk songs which were, considering the language was alien to me, very pleasing to the ears. The fun continued with the question-answer session that followed the welcome ceremony. As Martin H. Fischer aptly put it “The entire world is a laboratory to the inquiring mind”, the seemingly innocent kids came up with such astute questions that at times even our able volunteers were bamboozled. Questions like 'Who is God?', 'How did the sun came into existence?', 'How does the projector work?' gave us a glimpse into the minds of these little Einsteins. Hats off to our volunteers as they were able to ideate such surreal answers to the tricky questions. The brainstorming session was followed by distribution of books to children at various levels.

As the day progressed the kids were treated with magic shows, educational cartoons, craft sessions and many more fun activities. Irrespective of the activity there was one thing we could not miss. It was an unmistakable happiness in the eyes of those little souls. And considering you, albeit in a small way, have contributed towards the glint in their eyes gave you immense satisfaction. And the fact that these kids gave us a chance to be one of their own helped us regain the child like vigor which was long lost in the swarm of IT savvy professionals. When we had reached here our sole aim was to make them feel special but in reality it was they who made us feel that we were special which was indeed very touching.

The lunch that followed was, I would say, one of the best meals I have had in quite a sometime. After all it had the most important ingredients of all - The warmth and the affection of the village dwellers. As we bid farewell to the village, an epochal responsibility beckoned us - the responsibility of carrying this school forward. This trip was a small step towards fulfilling this promise. I would like to sincerely thank Ashwin Bramhe, the chief architect of this initiative, and the outreach volunteers for giving us an opportunity to be a part of such a noble cause.

Post Script: On our way to the village we were enlightened with the fact that there was another village nearby which was accessible only on foot. People there had to walk for 2 hours just to come in contact with outside world. The name of the village was ‘SINGAPORE’. How ironic!! I thought.

POSTER COURTESY: http://mr-ram.blogspot.com/!

BUM BLAST IN KP !!

Its 11th March !! Wait a sec…This date means something to me..but what?...Ah got it..Its my Birthdate!!
So as it happens every year, this year too on 11th March ,I was poured with n number of birthday wishes.

‘Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional’…
‘Some words of wisdom for your birthday, "Smile while you still have teeth!’…

But this post is not about the wishes I got on my natal day. Its about frantic birthday celebrations that occur in a place called KP. Its about yobs who proudly call themselves KPians. Its about a BUM Blast in KP. Unfortunately for me, this time around, the BUM we are talking about here was mine!!

The eve of my birthday started with KPians throwing some teasers of the events to follow. I was told to get ready for some hairdrier treatment. And I would know what that meant later that night. They did all the possible things to dent my psyche. Some people did warm up exercises before me while others told me ways to minimize the suffering. There were not gonna be any surprises this time around.. The plans were set and I was the target…in fact it was my BUM. I was fully made aware of this blueprint but the irony of the situation was such that there was nothing I could do!..’You a’int gonna escape from the clutches of these fierce animals this time around’ my inner self told me. I was about to get a taste of my own medicine!!!!

The moments leading to the ‘THE MOMENT’ were filled with me thinking how I would face these brutes getting their 2 ½ kg limbs on my sweet little BUM. Perhaps looking at my feeble body, they will surely show me some mercy - I tried to hope against the hope. As the moment drew closer my heart started beating rigorously. And finally when THE MOMENT, for which I was not so eagerly waiting for, came as the clock hit 12! I had seen KICKASS MORNINGS on TV once, but it was time to experience KICKASS NIGHT!!!!

I was escorted from balcony to hall by a bouncer with a mischievous smile. When I reached the hall I found things pretty unusual. The black forest cake which was brought on the occasion was being given least coverage! This was not all.. the guys were flexing their muscles and taking snaps of their .. well husky legs! Yes it may sound like gayish behavior right now, but that was not to be.! ‘Vaish its gonna be nasty down here’ I told myself. I had to remind the dudes that there was something called ‘Cake’ waiting for me to make incisions into it. As soon as I cut the forest in no time I was drowned in it. It was all over me. In KP the birthday cake is not meant for eating, I recollected while I was being readied for the KP ritual. At the same time my face was being continuously bombarded with snow foam. The cake and foam mixture made its way to places which I didn’t even know existed.

And then came the time which I and my BUM will not be able to forget in years to come. I had no option but to surrender myself to the encircling hooligans. I was lifted in the air and with no mercy whatsoever my BUM was subjected to utmost agony. It was as if my BUM was a magnet and the 20 odd legs were made of iron! The maiming continued for a few minutes but it was eternity for me! When one player got tired, some other dude took his place. I was given no rest though! I was not even given time to feel the pain..no sooner did one leg made its impression on my BUM other was waiting its turn. To speak in software terms my BUM was a open source..free for all!!! Finally it was over. I was given some breathing space after all.
The geyser was on and warm water was awaiting me n my bruised BUM. While the warm water was nursing my wounds, up came the question in my mind ‘Is this the best birthday celebration I ve had?’ and up came the answer through my heart..Yaaass! And instantly I realized one thing. The impressions made on my BUM were very faint as compared to the ones made by KPians on my heart!!

To round it off just 1 more suggestion from my side..If in case at any point in life you wanna experience what a fantASStic birthday celebration is..just stop by KP on the eve of your birthday and the KPians will take care of the rest!!!

God Was Always Visible..Its Just That The People Were Blind!!

I was in the middle of a brief siesta in office when I heard one of my colleague say..' We are batting'..I got up and thought 'HE is batting!’ . I quickly logged into cricinfo(our only source for scores) and found that the marathon had already begun. 'Not watching the match live' is the emotion i couldn't resist any more. I convinced my friend to leave the desk early. So here I was at 4 o'clock on my way to my pal’s room to watch HIM bat. At that point of time little did I know that this would be one of the best decisions i had taken. While on his bike many thoughts crossed my mind. 'What if HE becomes a victim of nervous 90's before we reach there?' ‘No way has he already conquered the nervous 90’s syndrome - I reassured myself. These very thoughts reiterated why this game is called 'The Game Of Glorious Uncertainties'. But within all these uncertainties, deep in my mind, I knew that one thing was certain - The GOD was with us.!

When we reached there, HE was batting on 96. I saw HIM bat with brutal determination which was surely missed when HE was getting out in the 90's. So I thought that No.46 was safely in HIS grasp. And as it turned out it surely was. Once HE got to this milestone the time had come to change the gears, the time had come to show the planet that he was IMMORTAL. What followed in the next hour or so left us gasping for breath. HE kept the ball boys busy. The ground seemed smaller than it actually was. No bowler was spared. There's no 'PITY' word in HIS dictionary. It was absolute carnage. HIS pitch map was filling fast. HE reached HIS 150 in no time. For once the bowlers started getting cramps. The mental wounds inflicted by HIM on the bowlers psyche were much deeper than the swollen eye and ruptured web with which they were bowling. HE is a sadist when HE has a bat in hand and bowlers running in to bowl at HIM.


But even after this display the thought of 200 was remote. Once HE crossed 180 mark is when we thought it was achievable. The time was there and the poise with which he was batting I thought we were about to watch something unimaginable even by HIS highest standards. Captain was giving HIM a good company. HE quickly past HIS previous best of 186. The next milestone was 194 - The highest score in ODIs. Without much fuss HE got past that too. Meanwhile the overall score had crossed 350 mark but no one really seemed to care. Because the moment, which we all had been waiting for, was nearing. HE was on 195 in 46th over and we thought it would be a cakewalk for HIM. But the script had its own twists. When the 49th over started HE was batting on 199 but the strike was with the Captain. He would go on and play the entire over hitting 2 sixes and a four and even end up taking a run of the last ball to keep strike. 6 balls 1 run..'Common give the strike to GOD you DOG' I said loudly.As it happened he would get strike only for the third ball and that is what he required -just 1 ball.


The fate was sealed. Atheists were compelled to believe that GOD exists after all and HE is one of us. In the presentation ceremony after the match HE said and i quote 'I would like to dedicate this double hundred to all the people of India who stood with me for the last 20 years.' I proudly say that I am one of the millions of people who stood by HIM through thick and thins of this remarkable voyage. May this journey never end. May the GOD be always with us.

POSTER COURTSEY : GAUTAM KAMAT BAMBOLKAR